In the cardiology office, the senior physician took off his glasses and studied my test results. He let out a long sigh.
"Elaine, when we advised you to terminate the pregnancy, it was because your heart couldn't have carried to full term. If you'd had that baby, it would have killed you."
"But the way things are going now, you might not even last another month. You're only twenty-nine. Are you really going to give up?"
I lifted my head and gave him a smile.
"I just came to pick up my prescription, Dr. Chavez. I'll go home and take it."
"Pills aren't going to cut it. You need surgery!"
"I can't afford it."
Three words. They stopped him cold.
He was quiet for a while. Then he said, "I heard your ex-husband has done very well for himself."
"He's my ex-husband, not my enemy. What's so hard about asking? Nothing's more important than staying alive."
My throat tightened. I held back the tears and looked at Dr. Chavez.
After a long silence, I shook my head.
"I owe him too much."
The heart condition had been discovered in the second year of my marriage. That same year, I found out I was pregnant.