And my mother, while calmly comforting him, said, “Oh, cheer up, Dear! Don’t you think this is the best outcome? Now, we don’t have to hang our heads in shame because of her disgraceful job. They won't tease up anymore.”
Then I realized that I had made a wrong move. I was too delusional and naive. The task that I originally thought was so easy, was in fact the hardest one. I could not stop myself but to curse, "Damn … how could I forget? I was too careless!"
My family had never loved me. In fact, I was a stranger in their eyes!
——
For as long as I could remember, I knew I did not belong in this family. I felt that I was the odd one there. No one wanted me to be included in anything. They did not care about my well-being or needs.
Maybe it was usual that in a family of three children, the middle child would always get overlooked. I always felt I was a stranger in my own family.
I remembered an incident when we all went to the amusement park as a family of five. At that time, my father carried my sister and my mother held my brother. Meanwhile, I walked behind them. My parents only urged me to keep up with them.