There seemed to be a barrier between us.
Everyone said he loved me and was very good to me.
He was a rare good man.
But I always felt that he was using me to make up for his sorry feelings for another person.
He made me grow my hair long and wear long skirts which I never wore.
I even wore high heels.
He even bought me makeup that I never used.
He just wanted to mold me into someone else.
Only after I dressed up as he asked would he show me a loving look, take my hand, and say softly, "I will always love you and we will never be apart again."
I looked at his eyes full of possessiveness and persistence, and listened to his loving words, but I felt disappointed.
I didn't tell him that I had seen the pictures he had locked away.
The woman in those photos with long hair and makeup was very similar to me.
But I didn't expose him but acted with him.
Because I loved him and was afraid of losing him.
But I went against his ideas more and more often and wanted to be myself more and more.
I hoped he would get used to my personality and fall in love with the real me.
He was slightly annoyed at first, but he bore it as long as he saw my face.