In his final moments, bleeding and broken on the stone courtyard, he placed my hand in Kael's. Take care of her, he whispered through bloodied lips. Swear it on your wolf.
With the entire pack watching—with every elder pointing accusing fingers—Kael finally stayed by my side.
For a long time after, I drowned in guilt. I had killed my sire. That was the only thought my wolf could hold.
I woke howling in the middle of countless nights, my claws tearing at my own flesh. If I hadn't begged Kael to stay, would my sire have been spared the stress that weakened his blood? If I had never recognized Kael's scent at all, would my sire have lived to see me properly mated? To hold pups of our line?
Day after day. Moon after moon. I sank deeper into the darkness, hurting myself again and again.
Kael would hold me while I broke apart, murmuring apologies into my hair while his Alpha presence wrapped around me like a cage. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Eventually, time dulled the sharpest edges. Life settled into something quiet. Something bearable.
But it was all a lie I told myself.
He had never forgotten Raven. Not for a single night.