When I finally turned my phone back on, the internet had done what the internet does when cruelty arrives prepackaged in screenshots and the target has offered no embellishment. There was outrage, yes, but also something more useful: clarity. People who had half-doubted my earlier posts now understood the scale. People who had privately messaged sympathy before now sent something closer to respect. My cousin Chloe had sent one additional message in the middle of the night: I’m sorry. You deserved a better family than the one you got.
That sentence broke something loose in me that the public comments had not. Because it did not praise me. It did not cheerlead. It just named the absence.
My mother deactivated her Facebook by noon. I only knew because several people gleefully informed me, which I found distasteful and therefore ignored. My father’s church friends had questions. Kevin, according to Amber’s cousin’s roommate’s girlfriend or whatever absurd route information travels through suburbs, had gotten into a screaming match with my mother about whose texts were the dumbest. Good. Let the architecture shake.
None of it felt like victory.
It felt like light.