I drove the children to a McDonald’s off the bypass because I needed somewhere with air conditioning and french fries and a bathroom and fluorescent normalcy, somewhere the world still obeyed simple rules. You wait in line. You order food. Children get seats. Nobody pretends not to notice where they have placed them. Noah asked if he could get a Sprite. Lily wanted nuggets. I bought them both sundaes they barely touched. We sat in a booth by the window while families came and went around us, and I watched my children relax by degrees into the ordinary mercy of being served without having to earn their place first.
Noah licked melted vanilla from the side of his spoon and told me, after much gentle asking, that sometimes Grandma Carol would tell the cousins to sit at the big table and say the younger kids could eat “wherever.” Sometimes that meant the den. Sometimes the patio. Once, at Easter, it had meant the back steps. Lily said it did not happen every single visit, which was exactly the sort of detail that made the whole thing more insidious. Random enough to deny. Frequent enough to wound.