A few feet away, my daughter stood holding her own plate. She was not sitting because there was nowhere for her to sit, and she was not trying to squeeze in because she already knew, in the quiet way girls learn far too early, when a place has been decided for them before they arrive. Her eyes moved across the table once, then away. She did not complain. She did not ask for a chair. She had always been careful like that, always reading a room before she spoke, always shrinking herself first whenever she sensed she had become inconvenient.