Since I was a little girl, my stepmother Diana Sullivan raised me with one cold repeated lesson that she treated like a rule for survival.

“Never marry a poor man, Audrey. Love is a luxury. Security is survival.” She said those words while cleaning the small kitchen of our old house in Charleston, South Carolina, while counting loose coins on the table to buy groceries, and while staring silently at overdue electricity bills stacked beside the sink.

For years I believed those words came from pain and regret because she had lived a hard life, and I imagined she had once loved someone deeply and paid a terrible price for that love. I eventually realized that the truth was very different because those words did not come from heartbreak.

They came from calculation and ambition hidden behind the mask of concern.

My real mother d/ie/d when I was six years old, and my father Peter Sullivan remarried Diana two years later because he believed our family needed stability and support. Instead he found debt, gambling problems, and a woman who treated every relationship like a transaction.