I stood in the kitchen with the letter still folded in my hand and let the quiet come all the way in.
Then I cried.
Not the clean cinematic kind. The ugly body-breaking kind that starts in the ribs and leaves you breathing like you’ve run uphill. I cried for my mother. For the trust she had built with such foresight because she knew exactly what I would face. For the years I lost trying to be the easier daughter. For every dinner I left early and called it maturity when it was really injury with lipstick on. For the house and the cedar chest and the hand-labeled herb jars and the part of me that still, even after the porch, had wanted my father to say I’m sorry first and ownership second.
At some point I slid down the kitchen cabinets to the floor and sat there with my knees drawn up, the cold tile against my legs, the sea glittering beyond the window as if the world had not shifted at all.
When the crying ended, it ended abruptly, like weather moving out to sea.
I got up, washed my face, tied my hair back properly, and started opening windows.
One by one, all through the house.