I apologized to Lily for not seeing it sooner and for not protecting her the way I should have. She said it wasn’t my fault because he was careful to only do these things when I wasn’t watching. She said she didn’t tell me because she was afraid I’d choose him over her. That admission hurt worse than anything else because it meant my daughter had been living with that fear for 2 years.
I pulled her into a hug and promised her that I would always choose her, that there was no universe where I would pick anyone over my own child. We stayed up talking until almost 2:00 in the morning. And she told me more stories that made me want to go back in time and kick my husband out the day he first made her feel small.
The restraining order hearing happened on a Tuesday morning at 9:00. Victoria met me outside the courthouse at 8:30 to go over everything one more time. She reminded me to stay calm and stick to the facts no matter what my husband said or how he tried to twist things. We walked through security and found seats in the hallway outside the courtroom.