It was only years later that I understood the speed with which she erased him had less to do with survival than intention.

One evening not long after the funeral, I overheard her on the phone in the kitchen. Her voice was low, but not low enough.

“The insurance money came through,” she said. Then, after a pause, and with a note in her voice that made my stomach turn even then, “I can finally start over.”

Start over.

As if sixteen years of marriage had been a rough draft.
As if my father’s life had been something to clear away once the paperwork settled.
As if I, by extension, were part of an old structure she no longer intended to inhabit.

At sixteen, I did not understand everything. I did not yet know how long she had been planning her next life or how carefully she had already begun building it before the old one collapsed. I only knew that my mother had started wearing lipstick again sooner than seemed possible and that she smiled into her phone at night when she thought I could not hear the softness in her voice.

The man on the other end was Richard Thornton.