"How could she not know how much we've been through in those years looking for you? She is just an ungrateful bastard who can't bear to see us doing well."
After a few seconds of silence, I clearly felt that my mother's voice had become much lower.
"If we hadn't lost you, we wouldn't have had another child."
"I only realized that she was nothing compared to you when she was born. She's so different from you."
The sound was low, but I still heard it. It hurt so much.
"Mom.
The door isn't soundproof. I can hear it." I thought.
But my feelings didn't matter anymore.
I was a substitute, and my sister came back.
So, I became useless.
In fact, I knew from a young age that I was not the daughter my mother wanted.
When I was little, she always loved to hug me and kiss my cheek.
The look in her eyes was so gentle.
But I always felt that she was looking at another person through me.
She named me Caroline Jackson.
I asked her what my name meant. She took my hand and said it had no meaning.
"No matter where Carol goes in the future, mom will miss you."
I didn't tell her, but my grandmother told me the secret.
I had a missing sister named Carol Jackson.