I was small at that time and thought that as long as I didn’t expose the secret, the Carol my mother missed was me, Caroline.
It would be me.
But when I was ten years old, they found my sister.
Her return broke my dream and forced me to stop lying to myself.
I had to give up my room and move into the garage.
"From now on, you will be called Caroline. Carol is your sister's name."
"Caroline, your sister has suffered a lot in the past. You should be more understanding. Mom will get you another room in the future."
"You can't be so voracious. You've had all kinds of food. Leave the ribs to your sister."
"It's raining heavily. I'll go pick up your sister. You can take a cab and go home yourself."
...
Later, I never moved out of the garage again.
I never had my mother's ribs again.
My mother didn't know that I didn't actually get a cab on that rainy day.
I cried in fright, walking alone in the lightning and thunder, and when I got home, I was soaked.
But my mother only complained about me for bringing the cold air from outside into the house.
"If Carol catches a cold, I'll beat you to death."
I sat on the stool and shook my head, trying to get rid of these memories.
But it was to no avail.