“Maybe,” I said. “Or maybe everyone else keeps trying to live on the surface of things because depth requires responsibility.”

Amber opened her mouth, closed it, then said, “I should go.”

“Yes,” I said. “You should.”

I did not walk her to the door. I stood in my kitchen and let her find her own way out, listened to the door close, locked the deadbolt behind her, and stared at the bright blue grocery store cake until I could no longer pretend it was anything except insulting.

Then I lifted the whole box and dropped it into the trash without opening it.

That night, in my new house for the second time, I lay awake staring at the ceiling and listening to the quiet. Not the clean, earned quiet from the afternoon. This was the quieter that arrives after humiliation when your body has not yet decided whether it is grief or anger you are allowed to have first.

Around two in the morning I got out of bed, went downstairs, poured a glass of water, and stood at the back window looking out over the dark yard. The moonlight turned the grass silver at the edges. The fence glowed faintly. The oak tree stood there, indifferent and complete.